mastering the art of life

i just got them….

in an envelope

i hope she faints when she looks…

june 11

set to be the best….

if i could pick again i would still pick him

you have time to spend with her this weekend but not with me…hmmmm interesting

dear christina,

lets dance it out, and lay in bed and talk.

love

your meredith

i’m okay with us not being best friends anymore, and of course i miss it and miss you but its okay. i’ll be okay with it in the end and life will go on and i’ll grow attached to someone else and call them my best friend but i hate when you say you are my best friend and then you actually aren’t. it hurts to see pictures of you two or watch videos like we used to make like we used to have because it makes me cry and miss you even more. and she’s really nice and funny and i like her but it doesnt make it any better. and i’m not saying you cant have other best friends or that you two cant be close but if your going to be best friends with her, dont lie and say we are that close still because we aren’t and its making me cry until i cant breath but i’ll deal with it on my own because your not here to fold tissues with me because your the problem im crying over.

i dont know whats going on in your life because you never tell me, i dont even know if she knows about cedar or not. and every time we talk it seems like you glaze over. and in discovery you never come and talk to me, it feels lke your not even trying to make an effort anymore. everytime we talk its okay for that night and there is a different excuse every time as to why your distant and instead of feeding me crap tell me the truth please. i think the worst part is remembering how desperate you were to talk to me when you were at sporks. how when you called i ran out of class waiting to hear your voice how desperate you were to talk to me, just me. then how we hugged when you got home. how we spent afternoons together laughing.

I’m okay if we aren’t best friends anymore but just tell me so i can find a new best friend i guess cause it seems like you already found a new one…and i dont mean that in a mean way at all its just a moving on part of our lives.

i still can’t breath from the memories slowly rolling down my cheeks.

i still love you but this hurts like hell…what happened?

i doubt you will ever even read this, and especially not before tomorrow where i will act like everything is okay…i have finally learned how to put on a mask over my sadness…

no offense but everyone has their own problems…be a big girl and deal with it.

is it reasonable to say that i should not have to go on a social network to find out whats going on in frends life….what happened to it all?